i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize