Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
