is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
birth control should be required to get into college
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize
