Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
