I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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