in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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