why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize