Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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