i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
