It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Mom said you looked used
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
