what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Watching her eat just hurts me
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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