Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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