My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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