honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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