Fine. I'll sleep in my office
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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