it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
