i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The air was thick with penises
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
