They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize