I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
