Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
