Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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