she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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