Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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