did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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