does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He has the fingertips of a God
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
