just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize