I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
