he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
