I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
