Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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