It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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