i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
