When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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