The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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