I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
