Can i not drive my cunt home
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
