Swine flu. Run for my life!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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