3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
