I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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