Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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