Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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