the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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