She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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