3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
