i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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