tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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