alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
