Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
