i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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