That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize