fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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