"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
