sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
