He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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