Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize