you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
