i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
