no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
