Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
