there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
