blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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