Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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