Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
