oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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