We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize