my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
