smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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