so that wasnt chicken after all
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
