My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
