"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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