I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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