I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
