Your mouth is God's brothel.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
