Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
