So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
