I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
