you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
