'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
