Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
