Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
