Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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