I understand Curling. That high.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
