The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
